Short Story Competition - 2015 & Radio Play

Hey guys!

Happy 2015!

So, I entered the 2015, International Short Story Competition online. I'm was placed in heat 42 and was the only representative of Great Britain in my group (a shout out to the two Irish participants, who are helping me fly the flag for Europe).

Our criteria was to create a mystery short story, with a character (main or sub) who was a traveling salesperson (I know travelling has two 'l's' but it is an American run competition so I must respect their spelling), in addition to incorporating 'a secret hiding place' into the mix.

We were given 8 days to create something and after four days of pulling my hair out (what's left of it anyway - check out my author page to see what I mean - http://aloomb.blogspot.co.uk/p/blog-page.html), I managed to produce a story called 'It's Only A Matter Of Time.'

Unfortunately, at this time, I can't share any of it with you, due to competition rules but I am currently working on my diploma, and a radio play. Below is a short snippet, which I hope you'll like and leave me a comment on. Remember, radio is all about audio, not like television. So you have to describe and direct when there is noise!

With best wishes, always.

                NARRATOR:                        Monty gazed to his left at the business man 

                                                         snoozing against the window. His face was 

                                                         concealed by the huge collar from his long, black 

                                                         coat; it was wrapped around him like a blanket. On 

                                                         the other side, a young, female had her headphones

                                                         in her ears and was typing away on her laptop, 

                                                         furiously. Monty felt out of place. Everyone around 

                                                         him was young, and at eighty six, he felt that  

                                                         he was intruding in a world that now belonged to 

                                                         young people; a world that had once belonged to 

                                                         him at that age. That feeling was strengthen when a

                                                         young man slumped into the seat opposite him.  

                                                         Monty smiled to greet him, but all that was 

                                                         returned was ignorance. The man just put his 

                                                         headphones in and proceeded to put his hood up.

FADE OUT.

FADE UP – TRAIN RATTLING ALONG TRACK.

                TICKET COLLECTOR:         Tickets please.

SHUFFLING MOVING SOUND.

                TICKET COLLECTOR:         Thank you, Sir.

A RINGTONE PLAYS ALOUD IN THE CARRIAGE.

                ASH:                                 Hello..? Hiya, how you doing? (PAUSE) yeah, I’m 

                                                        on the train now. (PAUSE) dunno, probably 

                                                        another couple of hours yet. (PAUSE) don’t 

                                                        worry, I’ll be there. (PAUSE) I promise. (PAUSE) 

                                                        you know it difficult for me. (PAUSE) because I 

                                                        don’t like Christmas, and regardless of what my 

                                                        mum says, it’s not easy to just pretend 

                                                        that everything is normal. (PAUSE) Yes, yes, I 

                                                        know. Look, I need to go but I’ll see you later. 

                                                        (PAUSE) (WHISPERING) Yes, I love you too… Bye.

ASH SIGHS ALOUD.

                MONTY:                            Um, excuse me, son.

                ASH:                                 You talking to me?

                MONTY:                            Yeah… is everything alright?

                ASH:                                 What?

                MONTY:                            Is everything OK?

                ASH:                                 What are you talking about?

                MONTY:                            I’m was wondering if you were OK?       

                ASH:                                 Why?

                MONTY:                            I just heard a bit of your conversation…

                ASH:                                 You were listening into my 

                                                        conversation?                            

                MONTY:                            Well, I would have properly, but, well, you know, 

                                                        these damn hearing aids are a hindrance 

                                                        sometimes.

THERE IS A SHUFFLING NOISE BEFORE A HEARING AID WHISTLES.

                ASH:                                 What are you doing?

                MONTY:                            Adjusting these blasted things. I can’t hear what 

                                                        you’re saying.

THE WHISTLING FADES OUT.